Carol Dweck, author of the book Mindset, has the following quote that may just answer the above question:
“If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
The one thing you have complete control over is your mindset. For many of us our default is to question ourselves and feel like the world is against us. This often limits how we see ourselves, what we think we can or can’t achieve, and how we feel other people might view us or treat us.
We can often blame other people, not take personal responsibility, feel pessimistic, only see our own problems, suffer from feelings of powerlessness, have trouble coping, or not good at receiving feedback… the list is endless.
These all lead to us not starting a weight loss program or dropping out as soon as we have one small setback.
Let’s look at some ways we can avoid being a victim and turn our struggles into results.
- Practice self-compassion – there are many ways to practice self-love and self-care. Reward yourself for small achievements, journaling your thoughts daily, taking 30 minutes daily to do something you enjoy like a walk, reading time, exercise, listening to a favourite podcast or watching a favourite TV series.
- Be Curious – a great way to open your mind and your thoughts and learn about how you work. Reading gets you out of your head and the internet is like having the largest library on your computer!! (But it’s important to only read things that bring you toward your goals.) Meditation can also help with focusing on the present and make you more aware of the thoughts in your head. If you have feelings of anger this can often be from fear or frustration.
- Conscious decision making – this means that you should practice control over your decisions and actions. Hold yourself accountable for what you do and what you say (or have a weight loss coach). Pre-plan and pre-think out potential challenges. These may not always work but imagine how you will feel making the decisions in advance and not relying on “things just happening” and you may just surprise yourself with the outcomes.
- Learn to say No – too often we put our hands up for everything. The power of saying No gives you back control, it gives you more time, it declutters your life and allows time for doing positive things for you. Set boundaries that work for you and learn to run your own race, not someone else’s.
- Aim for better situations – by writing in a journal we often get the chance to see ourselves differently. Journaling could include writing the 3 things we are grateful for each day, which reminds us how lucky and loved we are. Taking up yoga or meditation can help with managing stress instead of reverting back to old habits and playing the victim.
- Practice forgiveness – being able to say you’re sorry or to forgive someone allows you to let go of anger and sadness. This also includes being able to forgive yourself, as so often we are our harshest critics when we suffer from low self-esteem.
- Stepping outside your comfort zone – this is a great time to take the opportunity to try something new. It could be taking up a hobby, meeting new people through joining a club, enrolling in a language school, taking tennis lessons, or learning to knit. New experiences will give you a greater sense of control. Introduce yourself to another member or to the Facebook group.
- Random acts of kindness – by doing things for other people puts your mind in a feel-good mood. This helps increase your sense of self-worth and opens you up to positivity. It shows appreciation and gratitude from others in a less fortunate situation to you.
Now you have your box of tricks to walk away from playing a victim and take control of your life. No longer afraid to make decisions, happy to back yourself up and focused on who you want to be and where you want your life to head with full confidence in yourself.
If you have made the decision to move forward but would like a helping hand, fill out the form below and we’ll be in touch soon.